Often an ill person will need some sort of assistance that is not strictly medical -- financial, nutritional, transportation, information, etc. I have noted a reflex has developed within medicine to turn first to civil governmental agencies of a social service nature. While not necessarily implying that the family or church should duplicate services needlessly, I have found it illuminating to ask a patient who expresses such a need, "Does your family know about this need?" Most commonly, the answer is, "No." If I ask why not, a common response is, "They have their own lives to live. I don't want to bother them." I restrain myself, usually, from saying, "You don't seem to mind bothering anonymous taxpayers with your request that they underwrite what God gave families the privilege and duty of providing." Sometimes I discover that the reason the patient is reluctant to let their family know is some unresolved family conflict. What an opportunity! I recommend that the family be notified of the need and offer to be the one to do so. In almost every case, when I have notified a family, they have responded -- either out of love, duty, or perhaps merely because they would be embarrassed to say 'no' to a doctor.
Not only is the need met, the family is strengthened by doing what it is designed to do. The family has been instructed by the very asking of the question. We physicians are so consequentialist in our practice. If we know it won't "work" to accomplish a given end, we economize by not bothering. The problem comes when our focus is sometimes on too narrow a set of consequences. Both pastors and physicians can teach by maneuvers of this sort. We need to see if there is some way to diaconally institute it.
Excerpts from Physician and Pastor: Co-Laborers
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