Testimony from Depression

Given the recent celebrity suicide, it seems appropriate to post a letter Mrs. Terrell received following Dr. Terrell's death:

I just wanted to let you know that Hilton Terrell saved my life.... I had been feeling bad (not sick), and extremely anxious, and it proceeded to get progressively worse over time. I hardly slept or ate and had lost down to approximately 130 pounds. I had no idea what was happening to me, and I felt like I had no control over anything, but I had too much pride to tell anyone what was going on. 

What I did not know was that I was spiraling down into deep depression. I never even knew anything like that was possible. It was worse than any physical pain I had ever endured. I finally broke down and went to see [my pastor]. It was he who recommended that I contact Hilton. 

At that point in time I had not considered suicide, but I had reached the point where I fully understood how someone could do it. I knew that if something could not be done for me I probably would reach the point of considering suicide, or, at the very least, my body would stop functioning due to lack of sleep and food. 

Out of desperation I called Hilton at home on a Saturday to let him know of my situation, and to ask if he could help me. I was wondering how I would survive until whenever he would set the appointment. To my surprise he asked me to come to his office the next day (Sunday). I made it through that Saturday night and drove to [see him] on Sunday hoping and praying for a miracle. 

Hilton spent hours with me and only charged me $25.00 (he told me that was his normal fee). To this day I have known only one other doctor ... that I believe was in the profession for the sole purpose of helping people. 

Hilton stayed there with me until he was sure I had nothing else to say. During our continuous conversation I kept telling him how I felt, what I wanted to happen, what I did not want to happen, what had happened to me, etc. Hilton, in his wisdom, kept asking me, but continuously phrasing it differently, what had I done for others? 

In essence, what Hilton was continuously telling me was that I needed to get my focus off of myself and on to others. He gave me a prescription for some kind of antidepressant, and told me it might take a few days to get into my system. Fortunately for me it allowed me to get a full night's sleep that very first night for the first time in months (I had been sleeping an hour or two each night). 

Hilton told me that he fully believed that there was a physical side to peoples' problems because why else would God have placed things on this earth to be used as medicine. Hilton also told me, though, that he believed that there was a spiritual side to peoples' problems. I learned a lot from him that day. 

I began putting into practice what Hilton taught me, and was able to take myself off of the antidepressant within a couple of months. At that time I still did not feel "normal," but over time, and with practicing what I learned from Hilton, I gradually got better. I have not had any more trouble with depression since. Hilton saved my life, and I will never forget that.

Orange Ideas

Got some of Dr. Terrell's oranges? Want to do something other than juicing them? Try several of these ideas:

Orange Extract: After juicing, don't throw those peels away! Slice them up and make homemade orange extract to use when oranges aren't in season.

Orange Soap: Grating some of the rind into the soap gives it a mild abrasive nature which makes it good for a kitchen hand soap. Smells great and makes a nice gift!

Orange Syrup: Martha Stewart has an easy recipe for orange syrup. Drizzle over french toast or a hot stack of pancakes!

Orange Walnut Bread: The orange flavor in this bread is subtle, and it's oh, so good!

Or just pile them in a pewter bowl and use them as a table centerpiece!

Let us know if you've found other ways you like to use the oranges!

Dr. Terrell's Citrus

If you remember Dr. Terrell, you remember his love for tropical plants. A tour through his yard would introduce you to the tung nut, avocado, olive tree, tea bush, a wide variety of palm trees, and a selection of citrus trees including, grapefruit, limequat and satsuma oranges. He challenged himself to grow plants outside of their natural zone, and while he didn't succeed with bananas and sugar cane, he saw great success with his citrus. About this time every year, his citrus trees are loaded with fruit. If you know whom to ask, they are available now!

In Memory

On the 4th anniversary of Dr. Terrell's death, we share one of the many letters his wife received in the months after his death.


Dear Mrs. Terrell,

I wanted you to know what a precious influence Dr. Terrell had in my life and that of my family. As you may remember, I completed the McLeod Family Medicine residency [program]. Dr. Terrell's faith in Christ was such a part of his practice, he became my role model in my effort to integrate my faith and medicine.

The Bible studies we shared as residents with him in your home were particularly meaningful. I treasure and have kept to this day the complete set of his Journal of Biblical Medical Ethics. Dr. Terrell taught me that if we are not careful, much of what we do as physicians is temporary and fleeting, and often inconsequential. He inspired me to try to slow down and think about what I was doing and why I was doing it -- and to remember that my patients were eternal beings: mind, body, and spirit.

He showed me how to take a stand for what I believed in and to be bold in my faith even when it was uncomfortable -- to address the spiritual dimension with patients if they were open to this and to make an an eternal difference. That is the kind of doctor he was and the kind of teacher he was.

And he cared deeply. I will never forget a tender moment with him when he found out I had been named as a defendant in a medical malpractice case. I was still in my first year of residency at McLeod, brand new to the world of medicine. As I discussed my dilemma with him, I noticed his eyes moisten with perhaps some compassion for me -- no words were necessary -- I knew then how much he cared.

His influence endured into the next generation in our home. Let me share with you how much my 15 year-old daughter enjoyed her classes with Dr. Terrell at [our local Christian school]. He truly was her favorite teacher. He was a bit unconventional, and she really loved that. He taught her so much more than Biology. What a special gift to have him as her teacher!

I wish I could turn back the hands of time. Hilton called my wife one day, asking to come visit us during that year he was teaching [our daughter]. We were busy and the house was a mess -- we wanted to straighten up before he came. So, we put it off and let time go by... I wanted to show him my vegetable garden and fruit trees -- you know that he and I shared that interest in growing things. I wish we had him over with a messy house...

He meant a lot to our family -- I just wanted you to know.

South Carolina Citrus

Those of you who remember Dr. Terrell know of his love of tropical plants and his uncanny ability to get them to grow outside of their normal zone. In case you were the recipient of some of his juicy, South Carolina oranges, try this delicious recipe:


ORANGE WALNUT BREAD
Makes 1 loaf  

2 1/2 c. flour
1 1/4 c. sugar
2 t. baking powder
1/2 t. baking soda
1/2 t. salt
2 eggs, beaten
1/4 c. butter, melted
2/3 c. freshly squeezed orange juice
2 T. orange extract*
1 c. coarsely chopped walnuts (or pecans)

Mix flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Combine eggs, melted butter, orange juice, orange peel, and water; add all at once to flour mixture. Stir quickly until dry ingredients are moistened.  Stir in nuts. Turn into greased and floured 9x5x3" loaf pan.

Bake at 350 for 1 hour or until done. Cool in pan 10 minutes. Remove from pan and cool on wire rack. Slice and serve with butter.

* Or freshly grated orange peel. Dr. Terrell's oranges have a very thin peel which makes grating it for zest very difficult, so extract was substituted.

Portrait Unveiled

Thursday, September 20, members of McLeod Health's administration, faculty, and staff as well as family and friends gathered to view the unveiling of the portraits of two well-loved and deeply missed physicians, Dr. N. B. Baroody and Dr. Hilton Terrell. Friends shared fond memories of both men and reminded those present of the lasting mark they left not only on the McLeod Family Medicine Residency Program but also on those that knew them. The new portraits will hang in the Family Medicine Center.

Read more here.

Anniversary

Today, June 18, marks 46 years since Hilton and Marcia Terrell were married. He was a devoted and beloved husband. Although he spoke and published articles on medicine and medical ethics, he also wrote a few poems that he never shared publicly.


My Tabithite Wife

Who garbed others in scarlet cloth,
Herself will be where thief or moth,
May not steal a single stitch,
Placed with care by a heart so rich.
Clothed by Him, this Tabitha stands,
Her robes placed by His nail-scarred hands,
Presented alive to saints above,
Practical servant, imaging love.
While sewing for others, she was sewn,
To His heart, eternally His own.

Why Doctors Die Differently

The Wall Street Journal recently published an interesting article regarding the choices doctors make at the end of their lives. It conveys ideas consistent with Dr. Terrell's choices at the end of his life.

"It's not something that we like to talk about, but doctors die, too. What's unusual about them is not how much treatment they get compared with most Americans, but how little. They know exactly what is going to happen, they know the choices, and they generally have access to any sort of medical care that they could want. But they tend to go serenely and gently.

Doctors don't want to die any more than anyone else does. But they usually have talked about the limits of modern medicine with their families. They want to make sure that, when the time comes, no heroic measures are taken. During their last moments, they know, for instance, that they don't want someone breaking their ribs by performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation (which is what happens when CPR is done right)."

Read the full article here.

In Memory

Today, February 2nd, 2012, is the third anniversary of Dr. Terrell's death. At his funeral, four men who had known him spoke of his legacy. Dr. Rob Maddox spoke the following words:


Dr. Terrell was a man of intensity, of intense love. He had an intense love for his God, whom He knew personally. He loved God and he loved God’s Word, and he wanted others to share that love. He was a dedicated student of God’s Word.

Dr. Terrell was a man of intense love for his family. He loved his wife and his children, and they sit here today as evidence of that love. He reared his children in the fear of God, and they are all successful in their walk with Jesus and in their accomplishments.

Dr. Terrell was a man of intense love for his work. He loved teaching and he loved practicing medicine. He was intense in his peculiar approach to the limitations of medicine, as many here can attest to.

He was a man of intense love for his State [South Carolina], for his boat and the sea, for his palms and citrus. On our last trip together last year, we stopped to visit a man in Louisiana with a large selection of citrus. He examined every leaf and every genealogy of those citrus trees.

But Dr. Terrell was also a man intense in his disdain, not for people but for false ideas. He disdained false views of medicine particularly. He restrained himself, but woe to the opponent who failed to notice the rising redness appear above his collar to cover his whole face, until he exploded with the attack, setting that barb right in the center of the false argument.

Dr. Terrell had achieved a rare sense of peace about his work. He understood for years what I have only begun to understand: that medicine is no source of truth, that we are very limited in what we can do for a suffering person. He arrived at this conclusion because he was not content to limit his understanding of the good news of salvation to its initial acceptance but sought to bring every thought captive to Christ. He wanted to hear how God’s Word governed our life and work. He bemoaned preaching that failed to spur us to better works and understanding.

I had thought to read or sing to you Psalm 90, a Psalm we discussed much for its implications for medicine. But as that has already been read, I will read Ps 15.

 LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle?
         Who may dwell in Your holy hill?        
 He who walks uprightly,
         And works righteousness,
         And speaks the truth in his heart;
 He who does not backbite with his tongue,
         Nor does evil to his neighbor,
         Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend;
 In whose eyes a vile person is despised,
         But he honors those who fear the LORD;
         He who swears to his own hurt and does not change;
 He who does not put out his money at usury,
         Nor does he take a bribe against the innocent.
         He who does these things shall never be moved.

Dr. Terrell was an immovable man.

Voting for Ron Paul

Today, Dr. Terrell would have voted for Dr. Ron Paul for the third time (first time in 1988 and second time just before his death in 2008). As a fellow doctor, Dr. Terrell believed that the best chance to solve the problems in medical care and the economy were not found in more bureaucratic legislation, but in more personal freedom and faithfulness to our Constitution.